mutant ninja turtle...

We'd been anxiously anticipating the moment when we'd be able to introduce our little one to the big tub which is my parent's pool. The pool is unheated, so we've kept track as it slowly crept toward the 80 degree mark (our magic mark for when swimming is acceptable - 79 and below is ok only in my dad's crazy book). Saturday, our temp had arrived.

My parents had purchased an inflatable turtle with leg holes. When the baby is in it, it looks like she's sitting on it's tummy with it's head craning up at an odd angle staring right into her face. We plopped her right in and she screamed bloody murder. My heart sank - I wanted nothing more then to have her enjoy the pool with us this summer. We pulled her back out and my dad simply held her on his side. She continued to whine, but when we took the turtle away, she stopped crying and seemed to start to enjoy herself. We put the turtle back into the pool, let it drift in her direction, and the screams returned. Ok - so no turtles for Alexis.

She stayed in the pool awhile, passed back and forth between grandparents, getting dipped up and down, playing in the water with her hands, and generally having a great time. When she was finally a shrivelled prune and we figured it was time to exit the pool, we had her sitting on the edge (well supervised of course).

She was sans diaper (and bathing suit, for that matter) and began showing off her standing skills. Sitting on my lap (my legs in the water), she grasped onto the metal step rail, went hand over hand, and pulled herself onto her feet! Tah dah! I kept my hands lightly around her waist, but there was no denying that she was standing. She started to dance around a bit - a tad concerning when hanging onto a pole and wearing nothing, but we'll let it slide for now.

An entertaining end to the story? As she stood there, amused by her ability to be upright, we suddenly heard a distinct trickling sound. Lo and behold, she'd decided to tinkle right there on the concrete. She started looking around at it, as if to say, "what the heck was that? who did that?". That was you, my dear - that was all you.

We look forward to a summer of fun lounging around the pool and having her sit in some sort of inflatable, canopied contraption that looks nothing like a turtle. We'll go through bottles of 50 SPF like there's no tomorrow (today's sun is nothing like the sun we grew up cooking in), take a myriad of stunning pool baby photos, and build some first-summer memories I'm sure we'll hold on to!

sprechen sie deutsch?...

In 1982, Mr. and Mrs. Wieland (with me in the oven) relocated from Germany to good ol' PA. My dad was fluent in English, but my mom, unfortunately, only had the English she learned in school and we all know that that's not nearly enough to function in the real world. "Donde esta la biblioteca" anyone? Being immersed in the language, she adjusted quickly and spoke a heavily accented but fluent English.

I grew up bilingual with German being my first language. Some of my first words actually incorporated the rolling of the tongue that occurs in the back of the mouth - the sound that Germans often make that sound like we're hacking up something caught in our throat. Before I got to Kindergarten, Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street gave me enough to get by. In time, my English vocab grew. My first English phrases? "Merry Mickey Mouse", "82 degrees", and "Here they come". We were in Florida (it's always 82 there) and were at a Xmas Disney parade. 'Nuf said.

My parents have decided to speak only German to Alexis, and I'm psyched to see where that goes. I've decided that I need to brush up on my German since, though I'm still fluent, I'm starting to lose words here and there and have fallen into some Germlish (doesn't sound quite as good as Spanglish). If I'm going to join in the language-jumble fun, I need to have my game face on.

I started to wonder how exactly that works though? When I was a wee little schnitzel, how did I know which language I was jibbering? It's not like I knew the difference. If my parents say "Hund" for our pups but we say "Doggy", will she get confused or will she know that both are associated with the fur-kids in our home? Will she decide that she likes "Mohren" but doesn't like "carrots", even though they're the same thing? How will she know?! How does this work?? I'm hoping we can get her to speak both languages, even if German is broken. First words are a monumental occasion. If we really make the effort to get both languages in there, I'm curious to see what pops out first. Would be fun if it was German.

I have to say that there's nothing better then being bilingual and being able to talk s**t about someone right in front of them. I can tell my mom that someone has a huge butt from right behind the bulbous lady. She can comment that someone stinks and doesn't even need to whisper. That being said, never underestimate other people's language skills. I'm not the only one that knows my ABC's simply because Mr. Rogers taught me how.

one fell off and bumped its head...

It's been over a week since my last post - I'm slipping!

Our little one has made strides in terms of mobility. She is not crawling yet, but we're close. Sitting is no longer a stationary activity. It's become a constant opportunity to stretch, pull, and tip. One knee tucked in, she's realizing that she can probably somehow reach farther to get to that attractive TV remote, but gosh darn it there's another leg in the way! And when that leg finally gets out of the way, we end up on our stomach which must be synonymous with sprawling out on a bed of nails as she whines about it and shows us just how good she is at rolling from stomach to back.

Jamie and I were sitting on the couch playing a rousing game of Wii Mario Kart (it's become an obsession of mine, particularly since I can play against other players in the US or worldwide...they're complete strangers but that's part of the fun). Alexis was securely squished between us, flanked by a responsible parent on either side and quite far from the edge of the seat. As I'm flying around a turn, Jamie in my sights and a red heat seeking shell begging to knock him from his place in the ranks, I suddenly hear a scream and realize that the little on is on the floor, face down on the carpet, legs on the couch in a terrifying reverse backbend.

I drop the controller, scoop up the child, and begin to assess the situation. "How many fingers am I holding up? What color is a fire engine?" No response - it must be a concussion. I run my hands along each limb, hoping there's no cracked bones or dislocated joints. And what about her neck? A bend like that must have resulted in an injury that would require the smallest neck brace ever made.

After two minutes of crying (her, not me), she's fine. I, however, am still telling her "I'm sorry...it's ok sweetie...I'm right here". I'm sure she thought, "yeah, you're here now...where were you a second ago when I pitched over the front of the couch?"

Important lesson learned. Couches are no longer a safe haven. Sitting on either side of her does nothing to squash the insatiable need to try to see what's on the floor. And video games are truly associated with death and destruction. A seemingly innocent game like Mario Kart led us down the path of being neglecting parents. When Social Services comes to take her away, the headlines will claim that Marilyn Manson and Mario Kart were the true influences at fault.

for those about to rock...

A gift from a hip co-worker...an AC/DC dress, long john shirt connected, that solutes those that are about to rock. Get the camera on this bugger, and away she goes...

the discovery process...

Yesterday, in an effort to keep the peace as I prepared dinner, I gave Alexis a wire wisk to play with. Mind you, this was the 3rd kitchen utensil I'd passed along, but the mixing spoon and spatula, both black plastic, didn't have the same pizazz that a shiny wire wisk would. As I watched her look at it and play with it, I began to think about what was going through her head... Here's what she was saying:

Wow. Look at what mommy's got. Those other two things were lame but that one? Let me think about this a sec. Ok give it here.

Ooooooo. This one's shiny. Let me turn it this way. Ok let's check out the other side. Well...looks the same as the first side I looked at but let me check again.

Hmmm...feels heavy. I'm going to swing it a few times just to check out the weight of this thing. Ok...whatever this thing is, it seems light but not flimsy. Quality purchase mommy.

Wait a second. Can I stick my finger in between each of these thin shiny wires? Wow. Oh wait too far. Hand is stuck. Oh my goodness. Do I panic? Do I yell for mommy? Oh no oh no oh...ahhh...ok it's back out. That was close.

Now check...oh wait a second...pfffttt...ok that's better. Must have been those sweet potatoes. Darn that yummy root veggie. And the color? Oh and it tastes so good. And don't get me started on the...hold on a second...what am I holding again?

Did you see this ring on the end of the long part? Can I fit my finger in it? Oh I missed the hole. Focus Alexis, you got it. There it is...second try. I'm getting good at this stuff. Ring doesn't do much does it? I'll stick my finger in it a few more times for good measure, but I think I'm getting bored.

Alright mommy. I think that's it. Why are you still looking in that thing and poking it? Did you take one of the other black things you'd given me? Why are you putting it in there? What are you doing?! I'm done.

I'm going to swing this thing one more time and - tah dah. See that mommy. It's on the floor. Now you look at me. And what are you going to do about it? Hmmmm? That's right, pick it up. Now hand it over. Aaannnndd...ha. Back on the floor. You going to pick it up again? Silly mommy. Don't you know that I'm going to throw it again? Haven't you learned? Just pick me up and we can be done with this game.

Oh, you think you can give me something else now do you? Well I think...oooooo. What is that? Give it here...

happy mom's day!...

To me and to all those other moms that read along!

This is my first one and I need to figure out to what extent I can milk this. The fact that I was up at 7 this morning tells me that sleep is not a mom's day present. Jamie tells me that he's not my mom, so why should he get up early? Damn that steadfast reasoning.

place your bets...

Each summer, the trade show business goes through a bit of a slow spell (apparently). In prior years, Jamie has had the option to take a voluntary lay-off for 2-3 months and return to full time after the summer.

This year, the option came up again. In this small, 20 person mom-n-pop trade show business, they know each other very well, and I can be certain, as can Jamie, that he will return after the agreed upon months. That being said, anything that sounds remotely like a lay-off these days is short of hearing that your dog ran away and your third aunt twice removed has cancer. For it to even be an option, my stipulations were that I needed something in writing describing the time period in question and also wanted to be able to decide which months. Once those terms were agreed upon, I was willing to sign the permission slip.

The reason we even considered it? By having Jamie home, we can take Alexis out of daycare and save some money. We will not be taking her out completely. She needs to remember what it's like to be there and stay in their routine so that, when it comes time to go back to full time care, she won't be thrown for a loop. The plan is two full days there, the rest home with daddy.

Jamie is a great father, but as I've mentioned before, moms are equipped with something extra (patience maybe?). I can't even imagine being by myself with her all day long for a few days in a row. Now switch out me for Jamie...wow. I think this will be really good for both of them. They can "bond" with each other. He'll get to feel like he has a direct influence over her development (which I hope won't involve hours of horror flicks or the like). She gets to start working Jamie around her little finger. It'll take practice on both ends, but they'll figure it out. And for those days where he just can't take it? My mom has offered up her services (typically she does Friday afternoons with Alexis, but for the sake of Jamie and Alexis' well being, she'll gladly change days or add more!). Thank goodness for Omi and Opi's pool too. I envision multiple "let's keep her occupied with swimming" trips in her future!

It'll be interesting to see how it all plays out. Keep an eye out for posts in June as we go down that road. I even sense a potential for Jamie to do a guest post or two. Won't sound as good as mine, of course, but that might make it all the more entertaining! Who will prevail? Alexis v. Jamie. Place your bets...

this little piggy...

Have you heard the news? There's some sort of new flu. It's a secret - only a few people know about it. It goes by pig flu" or "swine flu". Oh, you did hear about it? A million other people did too? And you say it's all over the news? Hmm...maybe that's why I saw that picture of a person with a surgical mask on msnbc today. And I simply thought there was a new profession of traveling surgeons.

Of course I jest - swine flu info is everywhere you turn. I even saw a link to an article about the flu on the weather channel. Pollen alert on there...sure. But what in the heck do sunny skies have to do with pigs? If there's a thunderstorm will flu germs come tumbling from the sky as people sneeze into the air, boogers mix with moisture, moisture to clouds, clouds to rain on my head? In any case, as we all know, the hysteria is everywhere.

I need to be honest that they've nabbed me though. I've been checking msnbc (my news site of choice) regularly. Where have the latest cases sprung up? Why are people dying from it? What are the symptoms? What should employers and caregivers do? As far as I'm concerned (or as far as I've been sold to believe), this is much worse then the bird flu and SARS. It has to be. I have no idea what a SAR is and bird seem harmless. But pigs? Well they're cute but dirty. What better vehicle for disease?

I think my sensitivity to this one is that I have Alexis now. I'm not a bubble-baby type. Let her get exposed to germs...she'll be fine. But this doesn't seem like your regular bug. Interestingly enough, they claim that 20-30 year olds seem to be the hardest hit. Apparently having a healthy immune system doesn't work in our favor. I guess I need to start breaking myself down with junk food, lack of exercise, and maybe some smoking to get that immune system damaged. But in any case, I fear for Alexis more then myself, which I guess is how this parenting thing goes.

So while I know that the mass hysteria around this almost-pandemic super disease is probably somewhat unfounded, I'll still err on the fact that you never know, and extra hand washing or two plus some vigilant tissue usage can't hurt. I need to remember the killer bees that we all knew were going to kill all of us in North America as they migrated up from Africa or somewhere that we could blame for endangering us. I have no idea where those bees went, but I don't recall any sort of swarm. Let's hope the pig flu is the new fake killer bee, just with a snout versus wings.


PS - yet another reason the Pooh clan is dangerous to your health...