all i can say is no...

I read in a Parent magazine that, at Alexis's age, she has embraced the concept of free will. She has discovered that one does have choices in life, and that she can actually have some control over it (even if its simply perceived).

That's where the word "no" comes in. Good Lord, this child has perfected the art of "no." Along with "no" came "Inahwant", translating to "I don't want." (An interesting side note to "Inahwant"...it comes out very much sounding like "Iwant", but don't get it twisted, that "nah" is key...we're talking defiance here, not agreeing.)

Every single thing gets a "no" response, even if its not at all true. For example, something like, "Is that your horsey?" "No." Hmmmm...I'm holding the little brown Little People Horse in my hand, and I know you know what a horsey is (along with what it says and what you say when you ride it), however you are insisting that its not a horse. Or, you'll ask her something that you know she really wants and she'll still insist that the answer is "no". She'll ask to go outside. We'll say, "you want to go outside?" To which she responds "no".

The article indicated that this is a phase, and that, in an effort to curb it, we should instead provide choices, allowing for a this-or-that versus an definitive yes or no. Fine, makes sense. But, when you're getting the child ready in the morning and she is required to wear a swimsuit under her clothes in preparation for water time at school, and she doesn't want to wear it, there's not much room for choices. If you can't offer a choice, don't pretend like there is one. SweatPea can insist "No, Inahwant", but that's tough cookies for you.

So yes, child, you have discovered that there are choices in life. Much later in life, this may develop into the concept of having control over your destiny. But at 21 months old, we can pretend here and there that you can decide, but in the end, Mommy (and I guess Daddy) is in charge. Work on your "yes" and "ok".

As I finish up this post, I honest to God hear Alexis in the living room, watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, saying "No. No. No. No...Inahwant." I'm not sure if its because Mickey just did his Hot Dog Dance, signaling the show is over, or if some other injustice like her chair not pushing away from the table quickly enough has occurred. Whatever the case may be, suck it up SweetPea - you can't have everything you want, even if you are so damn cute.

a bug's life...

It is my belief that somehow, many of us are born with this innate feeling that bugs are icky. Whether it be 6 legs or 8, there's just something about creepy crawlies that simply doesn't feel right. Somehow the butterfly and ladybug pass as acceptable bugs - beyond that, you'd be hard pressed for one that people are thrilled about seeing.

A week or so ago, we were out on our front, concrete patio, and one of the large black ants that live around our house was making its way across. We pointed it out to Alexis, thinking this was a nice opportunity to meet something new. I'm positive that we did absolutely nothing to make the situation uncomfortable or to indicate that the ant was a bug, and therefore scary.

The ant did an about face and started marching toward her. She suddenly began breathing more quickly and started to whine about the "annnt". Then, this ballsy ant decides it wants to make its way up onto her adorable pink sneaker. She starts freaking out. "Ant! Ant! Shoe! Shoe!"

We fling the ant off of her shoe, but the damage was done. She was telling it, "not nice. ant." (There are pauses between her phrases, as if they're separate sentences.) Now, most bugs are "ants", and they're all "not nice."

Today, we were sitting in the kitchen and one of those stupid, loud flies was making a slow attempt at flying through the window. Alexis takes note and starts to cringe while whining. I tell her, "it's ok...it's a fly." "Not nice. Ant." "No, sweetpea, it's a fly, see?" I swat at the fly who makes very little attempt to move, ultimately falling down and going who knows where.

I'm big on her becoming a fan of nature. I love her relationship with animals. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of telling her to step on the ant when it made her upset. Swatting at the fly wasn't a good example either. Now, if she sees a bug, she makes a move for it to smoosh it. A relatively harmless moth unwittingly landed by her foot yesterday as we stood outside. Stomp. No more moth. Oops.

I'm not fan of bugs, and it seems that she wasn't one, and definitely isn't one now. I will try to expose her to other bugs and see if we can't at least make her comfortable with some of the insect kingdom. Firefly anyone? I need to reacquaint myself with them too. And for any bug that we don't want to shake hands with? "Daddy!"