stop right there...

I adore that my little one adores me. When I walk in the door after work (Jamie's usually home before me), she gives me a huge smile, starts wriggling around, and makes happy noises. If on the rare occasion I pick her up from daycare, I can say her name from the door and somehow she hears me over the din of children making incoherent babble, look my way, and give me an enormous smile. Damn my husband for getting to pick her up regularly...seems much more fun then drop off.

That love does come at a price. As much as I know she loves Jamie dearly, there must be something about my presence that puts her at ease. There have been a number of occasions where she'll be sitting, engrossed in her world where a remote is enthralling, and then realize that I'm walking out of the room. Even though Jamie might be sitting right there on the couch next to her, she'll make a horrible screech as I make my way out of the living room. I keep talking to her to reassure her that I'm still there. I feel bad that she doesn't do that when Jamie leaves the room, but I know that it's not for lack of love.

It's somewhat entertaining in the morning as well. After getting her dressed and fed, I plop her on the living room, surrounded by pillows, with a plethora of toys scattered all around her. (There is the infrequent mishap of the dogs assuming that toys on the floor are fair game, thus bombarding her and ultimately knocking her down, but typically things run smoothly.) I go about my business and she's content. But I think at some point she says, "OK woman, you've been through this room 5 times now, I know you know that I'm here, and this time is going to be the last time, you hear me?" And lo and behold - screech.

Another mom had shared that her daughters were the same way at around Alexis' age. But she put a positive spin on it. Us moms are equipped for this stuff. If she decided to screech every time Jamie left a room, that would mean that he would need to return to put her at ease that people do come back even if you can't see them. All of this "please come back" would lead to him having to handle her much more often then he does now. By no means am I saying that he's MIA. Quite the contrary - he's there as much as he should be. But in the end, as I said, we are more apt to keeping them entertained for long stretches of times while the dads help by accomplishing things that need to be done now that you're tethered by the little one.

It will be nice when she doesn't get upset when I leave a room, but it's a little heartbreaking as well. She'll go through a few more phases in her early years where she'll smoosh her face to the glass as daycare, crying for me not to go (or maybe not, which might make me sad too...I just can't be happy can I?). I need to appreciate that she's doing it because she absolutely positively loves me and wants to be around me. There will come an age where she won't need that, and then an age where she won't want that. "Oh god mom, just go, you're embarrassing me."

Annoying and constricting, yes, but also a true expression of love, absolutely.

leave it to the professionals...

I absolutely love taking pictures, whether it be the baby or the dogs, and am arrogant enough to think that I am great at it and get some really candid shots. While posed shots have their place, it's the random moments that I treasure most (the picture with her hand over her face, for example). Snap away and capture 20+ pictures and you're bound to catch something fun like that. It's digital - you have the freedom to do so.

When my brother and I were younger, we went to Sears or JC Penny's or wherever for the obligatory family photos. You'd select a background color - typically some sort of muddled shade of a primary color or a bland tan. Everyone would smoosh together, "layered" just right so that everyone was at a different height. Wooden boxes to lift me up, stools to shorten my dad, mom off to my dad's side, and brother somewhere in there depending on what growth spurt he was on. Posed hands on shoulders. Stay that way and don't move a muscle. Breathing is optional. My mom has a bunch of these in 8x10 and hung on a designated wall along with prom pictures, school photos, etc. None of them feel warm and fuzzy - they're just there.

With the birth of Alexis came the urgent decision as to whether professional photos were in order. Even before she was born, a professional shot of my belly with Jamie's hands on it somewhere was an option. That, mind you, is probably one of the grossest pictures ever. I hated being pregnant...I didn't need a black and white photo to remind me of just how big I was. And once she was born, should we get a newborn one done? I'll pass.

Jamie's mom had suggested we go to the Picture People to get some photos done. Initially I wasn't sure if I really wanted to spend money on professional pictures, but what the hey - let's give it a shot! Who wouldn't be psyched to see the cutest baby in the world pose for the camera? Also, they do a good job of keeping them candid and un-posed. Off we went, 4 outfits in hand. We had tried to time it just right...right after lunch and before miserable late afternoon sleepiness. Unfortunately, the morning nap was only 45 minutes long.

She started off strong, but by the third outfit, we'd pretty much lost her. But we'd started with the two most important getups first, and they're absolutely adorable. Feather dusters, clapping, fake flowers, and all sorts of other distractions and noises to keep her from totally breaking down too early. In her defense, overall she did fine and there are plenty of great shots to show for it.

It was impossible to pick ones out at the end. You go through a digital slide show and are amazed by each and the next. How can you decide which picture and at what size?! I had to keep in mind that I only have so many walls and I can only hang so many before being borderline creepy as I create a shrine of Alexis in my living room. We ended up with a few different sizes of a few different pictures, and I'm really pleased with the selection.

I adore my personal photos and am more inclined to use those, enlarge and alter as appropriate, and keep them as mementos for myself and family. But, considering that we got cute photos at a very reasonable price, I may find myself returning to these Picture People and seeing what else they're capable of. I'll stick to specific milestones and maybe throw me and Jamie in there sometime...and while we're at it, let's throw the dogs in too!

my own way...

Someone had told me that when it comes to crawling, every child is different, and essentially it comes down to the baby deciding they want to reach something or get somewhere, and they'll do it however they see fit. Some kids scoot. Some roll. Some crawl backwards. Some crawl for only a couple of weeks before pulling themselves up and announcing to the world that crawling is over-rated.

Tummy time is not Alexis' friend. You put her down on her stomach, and while we know she can hold her head up, she gets so angry that she puts her head on her arm, face down, and cries about it. How in the world is she supposed to start crawling like that?? However, when she's sitting, she leans so incredibly far to get to the things she wants, that I figured, in time, she'll tip over and start moving along that way.

Today we went to the pediatrician to check out a random cold that has turned into a raspy, sexy little voice. $20 later, of course, she's fine. (As an aside, she now weighs 21 pounds at almost 8 months old.) As we're waiting in the room, Alexis was sitting on the crinkly, somehow sterile paper that covers the "bed". No need to bring along toys when you're sitting on paper that makes great noise and looks quite tasty to boot.

She was tearing the crap out of this paper, leaning side to side, smacking her hands on it to make what must have been a satisfying crunch. I had to pull away a piece that she was eating. It seemed like an early attempt at a spit ball - wet and slimy and would have stuck to the wall with ease. I put it aside out of her reach. "But I want that," she decided. Reach....reach...reach...tuck in the knee...and tah-dah! She was on her stomach and could play with the nasty spitwad. Was the first time she'd done it! And wouldn't you know, even though she'd tipped onto her stomach, she wasn't freaking out like she usually does when on her belly.

After we left I called Jamie to tell him about this momentous occasion. He shared that last night, he'd dreamed that a mini-version of her was crawling around the house. Freaky!! But, along comes the double edged sword. As I type away, she's sitting on Jamie's computer chair right next to me, playing with whatever it is that I can think to pass her next (within the non-edible, non-chokeable, non-dirty parameters), she decides to lean and tuck. Had it not been for the fact that I'm a good mom keeping an eye on her, she'd have tummy-timed right onto the linoleum. Not her, or my, idea of fun.

So there it is. Hopefully within a few weeks I'll be able to post that she's begun moving along now that she's discovered how to get started. One step (or scoot) at a time!

anything i can do...

Jamie and I make fools of ourselves making faces, sounds, and motions in Alexis' direction, hoping that something sticks and she'll do it herself. The first thing she chose to mimic? Clapping.

It's absolutely adorable. Somehow we've defaulted to 5 claps and saying "clap clap clap" while we do it as if the motion itself doesn't truly send the message. Do we assume that by saying the words, she'll think, "oh...that's why they're doing that with their hands...they're clapping...why didn't they just say that?" Once we realized that, upon seeing us do it, she smack her little hands together, Jamie and I have become obsessed with the concept and are continuously applauding in her face. The dogs, understanding clapping to be "come here", get confused amid the ruckus.

I loved her first attempts at clapping. Not understanding that fingers must be straight and wrists tight, she'd swing her arms, hands dangling and knuckles clunking. Occasionally, the stars would align and you'd here the faintest little sound, which of course fueled Jame and I to laugh, praise, and ask her to do it again, and again, and again. She has figured out that some control is needed in order to make it more worthwhile (if you don't make a sound, what's the point?), and while it's still a little hit or miss, there's no denying the little clapping sounds coming from her tiny palms.

The other day I blew a raspberry at her, tucking my bottom lip in and blowing out with a little spit hitting my chin, just as she had done a few minutes prior. While I'd like to believe that the next one was in response to mine, I think I just timed it right and hopped in between two that she'd already planned.

While making rude spitting sounds doesn't seem to be clicking yet, I do think she has also begun to mimic sounds we make. She'll make these "dah" sounds, but with force and vigor behind them, sometimes even stretching her arms out a bit and clenching her fists, really putting everything she has behind it. We make it back (a little less force required), and she'll make the sound again. Copying us? Maybe, maybe not, but it sure does seem that way.

We're just breaking into the world of repeating things that are said or done around her. Once this skill develops, and we truly see it occurring, that's when we'll need to mind our P's and Q's (what exactly are P's and Q's?), keeping the expletives to a minimum, and think all gestures through before expressing ourselves.

It's entertaining when we get to see kids at stores embarrass their parents. I do not, however, have any interest in being the embarrassed mom. In time I'm sure she'll drop the F-bomb, belch, and pick a wedgie while waiting in line to pay for groceries. I hope someone near me gets a good laugh out of it. At least it'll make it worth someone's while.

fetch...

Training dogs isn't easy, but with the right treats, praise, and discipline you can make progress and suddenly the pooch can jump, roll, or paw on command. Apparently, training a mom is even easier.

Alexis has learned the art of dropping things, and not accidentally...on purpose. The deliberateness first became obvious over Easter as she sat in her highchair at dinner. I had two toys on the table in front of her, plus the kids menu to gnaw on. (Apparently they thought a kids menu was in order...as if the tiny girl with no teeth was ready to munch on some mozz sticks or something.) She picked up the blue jingling doggy, looked at it, held her arm straight out to the side, and dropped it. I reached down and returned it to the table. Pick it up, out to the side, drop. I realized there was a distinct pattern going on here! In her mind, I think she's figured out, "If I throw this on the floor, I can watch mommy bend down and pick it up. Then I'll throw it again since it's funny to watch mommy stretch for stuff while trying to eat her dinner."

It didn't take treats or praise. All it took was a smile and a giggle and I was at her beck and call, personally picking up whatever it was that she thought to fling onto the floor. Now that I think about it, I also clean up her poop, feed her, wipe food off of her face for her, wash her clothes, bathe her. Like a total slave at her mercy.

Who exactly is in charge in our world? We'd like to believe we are, but I'd argue that were creatures from another planet come to visit, they'd immediately peg dogs and babies as those in command. Why else would we pick up their poop?

a few more...

A couple more shots from Easter weekend...

survival of the fittest...

This post is confirmation that Virginia was not the end of me. As you may recall, our adventure over Easter was a trek down to VA to visit family on Jamie's mom's side. What was meant to be a three day, two night stay became only two days with one overnight. While I'm very glad we made the trip, I must say that packing a huge load of baby gear and driving 4.5 hours each way for two half days was a bit draining.

The key component of our trip was for the great grandparents, Edna and Cecil, to meet Alexis. They, of course, we beside themselves when they met her. And Jamie, his mom, and I were beside ourselves at how pleasant Alexis was. My daughter is generally quite sweet, but VA must have brought the best out in her. Was it the country air? On both days, she was smiling, gibbering, and playing with whoever it was that was holding her. At dinner, she sat in her highchair at the restaurant, systematically throwing things off of the table for me to pick up, and enjoying every minute of it. Even in the car during our trip, there were two small spurts of miserableness during each leg, no doubt out of boredom and sleepiness. I was on the verge of tears myself, driving on the straight, boring, one lane country highway. (That's a bit dramatic, but you know what I mean.)

This trip assured me that my daughter is capable of travel. She is also capable of sleeping through the night in her pack n' play in unfamiliar territory. She is capable of being the cutest, sweetest friggin' thing in the whole world (I already knew that one, but figured I'd throw it in there for reinforcement). It also confirmed that Jamie and I can stand each other during 4.5 hours in a car together (possibly b/c he spent 2 hours watching a movie on a portable DVD player), that a mother-in-law in the back seat keeping the little miss entertained is a requirement, and sometimes you have to make some sacrifices to spend time with family. And also that a twin sized bed is not at all appropriate for two grown adults - Jamie's aunt needs to buy a larger bed for the spare room if she ever wants to see us again.

Here's a pic of the little one. Enjoy!

meet the gang...

In the infant room at Goddard, there are approx 7-9 babies, depending on what time you get there and on what day. They are all different ages within the parameters of the infant room. Some teeter-totter walk, some crawl, some sit like Alexis, and some are infants that are pretty much helpless.

Each has their own quirks which we've come to see over the last four months. Jamie is the one that observes and reports back most of these. In the morning, when I drop off, I'm too busy stowing away bottles, baby food and the like, and don't have a chance to really look around at the other munchkins. Apparently things are more easy-going in the evening.

There's Sam - the blond boy with the adult face. He may have a child's body, but that face has grown much quicker then him, though no signs of 5 o'clock shadow just yet. He is always smiling (though Jamie saw him shirtless and whining, apparently b/c he had a fever, and as far as I'm concerned he should have been quarantined until mommy came). He likes the ball-pit, and for a while it seemed that each time Jamie picked up Alexis, Sam's manly grin was peering over the side of the pit.

Then there's Jada. Jada is the adorable black baby that has little poof-balls of hair all over her head. She has a sporadic row of mini-teeth. She walks as babies seem to do - arms way out, knees not really bending, rocking back and forth and hoping all goes well. For a while, Jada seemed to cry whenever Jamie came in to pick up Alexis. She has since warmed up to him, but deep down she must still have some sort of psychological aversion to the man.

Another girl, and I don't know her name, has an obsession with pulling off her shoes and socks. Even when I get there first thing in the morning around 8am, she has a sock in hand and a shoe is nearby. She doesn't walk yet (at least not that I've seen), so the shoes must be purely for aesthetic reasons. If I knew my daughter pulled them off instantly, I'd think to keep them off in the first place, but that's just the voice of reason in my mind.

Let's not forget Mohawk-baby. Younger then Alexis, this poor child was born with pale white skin and a full mane of dark hair. The hair is pretty short on either side and very long and lush down the middle (potentially from sleeping on it, but something tells me she was born like that). Hence Mohawk-baby.

Once we get to know the rest better, we'll learn their idiosyncrasies too. Eventually I guess we'll learn their names too, but what's the fun in that? I wonder what people say/think about Alexis when they get home. All I can imagine is "the beautiful baby with the gorgeous dark eyes", but that's just me.

photo shoot...

Over the weekend, the missus was hanging out on her daddy's computer chair while I sat in the chair next to her taking care of some online stuff. She was jibber jabbering and totally hamming it up, so I decided it was time to grab the camera. I snapped away and here you go...

pack your bags...

Over Easter weekend, we'll be taking our first family road trip. We'll be venturing down to Culpeper, Virginia (yes, it's as country as it sounds). There, Alexis will meet her great grandparents on Jamie's mom's side...Edna and Cecil. Again, as country as it sounds. They're cute country bumpkins and will no doubt be ecstatic to see her. We'll also see Jamie's aunt and uncle. Jamie's cousins are as grown as us, so the replacement children are a cute set of pugs - one tan and one black. Alexis will feel right at home.

Our trip will begin on a Saturday afternoon, and after two evenings with the family, we'll be trekking back home on Monday. Gone are the days of making sure Jamie and I have socks, undies, and toothbrush - everything else is expendable, but hopefully the right garments were selected for the weather and activities. Now, it is going to be so incredibly different. Here's what I think we'll need so far - as Easter weekend approaches, this list will only get longer.

- 4 bottles (she needs 3/day but an extra for good measure)
- Cleaning brush to keep those bad boys clean
- 15 servings of powdered formula (only needs 12, but again, better more then not enough)
- 12 jars of baby food, a balance of fruits and veggies to keep things "moving along"
- Rice cereal and oatmeal to mix into the food (keep that belly full!)
- Plastic containers with lids (for on the go meals - need to have somewhere to mix the cereal in), spoons
- Clip-on high chair (for eat-anywhere convenience)
- Clothes - an outfit per day plus extra pants and onesies "just in case", PJs, Easter dress, lots of magically disappearing socks, etc
- Self foaming washcloths
- First aide kit (you never know...want to at least have the "essentials" on hand)
- A friggin' slew of diapers and wipes
- Pack n' Play w/ attachable bassinet and canopy (also need waterproof sheets)
- Umbrella stroller (still to be purchased)
- Toys (enough to keep her entertained, not so many that it's overwhelming)
- Books (gotta stay smart, even on the go)

That can't possibly be everything, but it's a hefty start. I have a friend that took her son to New Zealand for two weeks. (Right Colleen T? Two weeks?) If a few days in Virginia involve all of this, then I have no idea how one plans for a trip that long in another country. Plenty of Benedryl (for the baby) and hard liquor (obvious, but could be insanely driven to give it to the baby, so maybe leave it at home).

Anything I've forgotten ladies? I don't mean to leave out the men, but I think in most cases the ladies are packing, both for baby and for dad, and he's just along for the ride. He's also the one that we yell at when we're stressed out. "Will you PLEASE hold her while I look for her XXX?" "Can't you see that she's upset? What you're doing isn't helping!" "Get out and pump the friggin' gas while I feed her and let's get going!" These are all made up examples, but when I blog after the trip, they very well may be grounded in reality!

T minus 10 days. While I don't pray, you might, so keep us in your prayers!