thank you sir, may i have another?...

At 18 months, Alexis is so much fun. With fun comes complexity.

She can run around, saying "gitchoo" (as in, "I'm going to get you"!). But, because she can walk and run like crazy, she doesn't want to be carried at all anymore. I'm not sure she fully understands just how dangerous it is for her to fling herself toward the ground while being carried. Ask me to get down, don't just jump. If we're in a parking lot though, or if its raining, or if I simply don't have the patience to walk at a snail's pace, I'm going to carry you. Even if it means I look like a fool, holding you sideways while you whine, deal with it.

Or how about feeding herself? She's doing incredibly well with the fork (more of a spork, if you will). Of course, plenty of mac n' cheese lands in her bib pouch (or lap, if mommy forgets to bring a bib along when we go out to eat, as she often does.) But ultimately, she's perfected the art to the highest capability she can have at the moment. However, if I decide that she should get some guidance, or that I need to take over the spoon to help her finish her yogurt, she gives me a hissy. "I can feed myself, damn it. Don't treat me like I'm a child."

I bring up her fun complexities, but I can quickly recall the three month old misery. Some moms say that they look back and only see the good. Not this mother. So, when I get the question that apparently every mom of a 1 to 2 year old gets, I can't help but say, "Um, no. Not right now. No." The question? "When are you going to have another?" Or, "Are you ready for your second?"

Why is that an immediate question? Is there a timeline that I'm supposed to be sticking to? While I know it's a big gap, my brother and I are 7 years apart, even that seems completely reasonable. My lady parts aren't going to shrivel up after Alexis turns 2. I'm only 27 - we have time. Not to mention, these people should instead ask, "Can you afford a second right now?" That's a more viable question. Alexis costs $800/month for daycare. Can you imagine having 2 in there? That's more then our mortgage. Yet we still couldn't have one of us stay home. We make the same amount of money - one of us stops working, then our income is cut in half.

I can appreciate the question, and I'm not bitter or angry or anything. I understand it. But it makes me feel like it's an assumption that I need to be ready for it right now. For now, Alexis can enjoy being the one and only little princess that she is.

PS - I'm not a single parent - I know Jamie has a say in this too. While he is absolutely ready right now to have a second, he fully understands the financial part. And right now, it is ultimately a financial decision.