poo poo on pooh...

If you read the post immediately before this one, you will undoubtedly notice my aversion to Pooh Bear. It's not limited to simply Pooh either. It extends to Pooh's entire community. The Pooh bunch is not something that I feel children should learn from. Here is my issue:

Pooh himself is quite dopey and is overweight (which you see when he gets stuck in fallen trees and such). He eats a carbohydrate laden diet of honey. We have a huge childhood obesity issue in this country - Pooh does not exemplify the FDA's approved pyramid of nutrition.

Eor (spelling?) is incredibly depressed. His depression may stem from the nail in his butt, but it seems to extend deeper then that. Something must have happened in his childhood that scarred him for life, leaving him deprived of emotion and unable to exhibit joy or happiness.

Then there's that rabbit. I think his name is Rabbit, which is so original. Maybe the fact that his name is so asinine is why he is so angry. Rabbit is miserable and seems to yell at all of the other characters. They try to be nice to him, but he doesn't waver. Again - do we aspire to have our children learn to be mean to other children and have zero empathy?

Of course we can't forget Tigger. This tiger has major issues. I think some medication should be prescribed for his severe case of ADHD. He may also be taking some street drugs since no tiger tail should be able to sustain the stress of a large tiger bouncing around on it. Speed or opiates may be at play here.

Finally we have Piglet. I have to say this is probably the only character that I sort of like. Unfortunately, there is one fault to this petite farm animal. It's a gender bending little pig. I think it's the pink shirt that makes me think she's a girl, but after I pondered it a bit more, I realized that he could also be a boy. Children may associate with the wrong gender, thus making them feel that they need a sex change later in life.

The fact that the baby world is sponsored by Pooh is something I simply don't understand. Diapers, PJs, sippy cups, books, pacifiers, burb cloths, etc. I found it difficult to find non-Pooh PJs the other day. Is it assumed that all parents and their children like this cartoon critter? Obviously this mother doesn't. Does Pooh receive royalties every time his face is used? If so, that's one rich mogul of a bear.

I say manufacturers should leave animated characters off of their merchandise and allow parents to make their own decisions about which cartoons they'd like to endorse. I for one will boycott the Pooh franchise, even if it means that my daughter may need to go to bed in just a diaper because mommy can't find the appropriate Jessica approved pajamas.